Please enjoy this 18 min live video recording where I explain what self sabotage is and the 3 steps you can take to stop doing it.
Or you may prefer to read on for a brief overview:
When we undermine our own success with destructive behaviours and thought patterns.
Some examples of self sabotage include: self criticism, perfectionism, substance abuse, procrastination.
These behaviours and thoughts are often fuelled by anxiety, fear and self doubt.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME SELF SABOTAGE?
1: What is the negative behaviour or thought pattern?
- Write down ALL your negative behaviours / thoughts and be as specific as possible.
- Eg. Returning home from work and eating everything in the fridge.
- Sleeping through your alarm.
- Drinking a bottle of wine after dinner.
- Over snacking whilst working on assignments.
- Buying a chocolate bar to eat on the way home from food shopping.
2: Why am I doing it?
- Think back to the first time you engaged in this behaviour / thoughts, or the earliest time you can remember.
- Try to determine how it all began – think of the scenario and ask yourself: When, Who, What, Where, How.
- See if you can pinpoint similar situations or events that bring on these negative behaviours and thoughts
It’s important to remember that this is not a blaming exercise! It’s an exercise in recognising where things go wrong and taking ownership to either fix or avoid the situation.
3: How can I stop it?
- From the list you have created above, address each of your specific behaviours and determine how you can either change the behaviour or avoid the situation that enables the behaviour.
- Eg. Do online shopping instead of going to the shops to be tempted by chocolate bars OR take a healthy snack with you to the shops that you can eat in the car on the way home.
And finally, here’s what I think causes people (including myself) to self sabotage:
- Not wanting to get out of your comfort zone.
- Poor planning.
- Poor organisation.
- Being lazy.
It’s certainly not some incurable virus or psychological disorder that you can’t do something about!
Take ownership of your thoughts and behaviours and work hard to change them.
