Self sabotage: 3 steps to stop doing it

Please enjoy this 18 min live video recording where I explain what self sabotage is and the 3 steps you can take to stop doing it.

Or you may prefer to read on for a brief overview:

When we undermine our own success with destructive behaviours and thought patterns.

Some examples of self sabotage include: self criticism, perfectionism, substance abuse, procrastination.

These behaviours and thoughts are often fuelled by anxiety, fear and self doubt.


1: What is the negative behaviour or thought pattern?

  • Write down ALL your negative behaviours / thoughts and be as specific as possible.
  • Eg. Returning home from work and eating everything in the fridge.
  • Sleeping through your alarm.
  • Drinking a bottle of wine after dinner.
  • Over snacking whilst working on assignments.
  • Buying a chocolate bar to eat on the way home from food shopping.

2: Why am I doing it?

  • Think back to the first time you engaged in this behaviour / thoughts, or the earliest time you can remember.
  • Try to determine how it all began – think of the scenario and ask yourself: When, Who, What, Where, How.
  • See if you can pinpoint similar situations or events that bring on these negative behaviours and thoughts

It’s important to remember that this is not a blaming exercise! It’s an exercise in recognising where things go wrong and taking ownership to either fix or avoid the situation.

3: How can I stop it?

  • From the list you have created above, address each of your specific behaviours and determine how you can either change the behaviour or avoid the situation that enables the behaviour.
  • Eg. Do online shopping instead of going to the shops to be tempted by chocolate bars OR take a healthy snack with you to the shops that you can eat in the car on the way home.

And finally, here’s what I think causes people (including myself) to self sabotage:

  • Not wanting to get out of your comfort zone.
  • Poor planning.
  • Poor organisation.
  • Being lazy.

It’s certainly not some incurable virus or psychological disorder that you can’t do something about!

Take ownership of your thoughts and behaviours and work hard to change them.

Find out more about how I can help YOU online:

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